My Vision of the Perfect Snow Day

So maybe you didn’t get your power knocked out a couple of weeks ago by winter storm Jonas. Funny story. We did. For two whole days. I sat in front of the fireplace after a lukewarm shower, trying to dry my hair without the use of a hair dryer. Well, folks, long story short, I heard a sizzle and then smelled a smell. Flash forward to yesterday and I’m at the hairdresser telling her about my hair-ventures and asking her to see if she can find the chunk of hair that’s substantially shorter than it should be. She couldn’t, so I guess that’s good. My takeaway from this is to not sit with my back to the fire anymore. Plus, if I face that way I can’t see the pretty flames.

So I’m preparing for the next snowstorm the way any sane person does: with denial. It’s never going to happen again. Snow’s not a thing. I live in the south and it never snows here. Okay, so I’m delusional. How I really should prepare is to buy more cozy blankets. That way the next time the snow hits, I’m prepared to take full advantage of it. Whether the power is on or off, I’m going to spend time with my boys in front of the fireplace – facing the correct direction. I can see it now…

I’ll have a mug of tea, and my husband will be sipping hot chocolate. In my vision we still have electricity and our Keurig is working so I don’t have to painstakingly (and dangerously) make hot water on our camp stove. The dog will have a brand new Nylabone, and our cats will be blissed out on high-test catnip. We’ll all be cuddled up on the floor in front of our fireplace. Not too close though, because we don’t want to catch on fire…again. I’m also ignoring the fact that rather than cuddling with our cats, the dog would chase them instead. No, in my perfect vision of a snow day, everybody gets along and we snuggle to conserve body heat. And we also do it because it’s cute to cuddle with animals.

In the awful event that we do lose power, I think I’m going to invest in some sterno and a fondue set. Sterno is safe enough to use on my table, and who doesn’t love hot cheese and bread? I know I do. Or I could get creative and melt some chocolate instead. Chocolate and fruit. Mmmm. If you add candy to fruit it doesn’t counteract the good stuff in the fruit, does it? Just like if you make pancakes for somebody else, the ones you eat don’t have any calories, right? Man, I wish that was true. It’s some crazy, mixed-up Mom logic.

I guess I don’t have to wait for a snow day to cuddle. It’s still cold outside, and since we’ve got a full tank of propane I don’t have to worry that we’ll use it all up before an emergency. Possible emergencies could include snow, zombie apocalypse, hurricane, and tornado. My husband says “everything I learned in life I learned from post-apocalyptic video games”, and he guarantees me that we need a full tank of propane to deal with any possible situation. It’s purely speculation on my part but I think that in a post-apocalyptic wasteland that cuddles are optional and take second place to the fight for survival.

Posted: Monday, February 22, 2016