Loving Everything about Food

Y’all, I love food. And I’ve completely missed all the great food days during the month of March. So here goes a sad list of everything we missed.

March 1st – Now, if you love peanut butter (what’s not to love? Peanuts, sugar, molasses…mmm), you may have known that March 1st was National Peanut Butter Lovers’ Day. Let’s all say a belated thank you to Canadian Marcellus Edson for being awarded the patent for the mass-production of peanut butter. As an aside, George Washington Carver is the person most often credited with the invention of peanut butter. Turns out he invented – or at least wrote about – pretty much everything to do with peanuts EXCEPT peanut butter. He created hair tonics, massage oils, and a whole bunch more things that aren’t interesting to read about. But I digress. I was talking about food. While the humble peanut and all the things you can do with it are truly amazing, let’s move on, shall we?

March 6th – In its infinite wisdom, the 1984 incarnation of Congress passed a Joint Resolution (number 193, if you were curious) to designate March 6th National Frozen Food Day. Without the invention of the quick-freeze process, we wouldn’t have ice cream, frozen pizza, or Weight Watchers English Toffee bars. One of the most recognizable frozen food brands is actually named for the man most often credited with inventing frozen food technology: Clarence Birdseye. Without his insight, flash-frozen foods might not have been invented. We’d be stuck eating mushy peas and carrots.

March 10th (2nd Thursday of March) – You eat it at the movies. Sometimes you share it with your dog (or your cat. Don’t judge.). You can make it into balls and you can string it on garlands for the holidays. Yep, folks, the 2nd Tuesday in March is National Popcorn Lovers’ Day. I don’t know about you, but I’ll risk the possibility of getting a kernel skin stuck in my gums for days just to eat movie theatre popcorn. Something about it just seems better. It’s probably because I didn’t make it myself.

March 14th – Pi (π) Day. Yes. Pi day is the day you eat pie. Pie of any kind! This year we had a pizza pie and I made a pumpkin pie. Last year I made a chicken pot pie. But you could have shepherd’s pie or a moon pie or anything that is pie shaped really. If you don’t remember Pi from high school geometry classes, it’s that number that mathematicians still haven’t found the end of. This irrational number’s value is approximated to 3.14159. It never repeats either. It just goes on into infinite smallness. Pi’s the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter, so it’s easy to see why you’d eat something circular on this day that’s got a homonym for a name. Coincidentally, March 14th is also Albert Einstein’s birthday, so it’s a celebration of math!

March 14th is also National Potato Chip Day. And even though there haven’t been any Congressional resolutions making this an ACTUAL National Day, who even cares? I love potato chips. You probably love potato chips. Since the first potato chip was made in New York in 1853, Americans have loved potato chips. It’s a pretty delicious food, and the humble chip definitely deserves its own day. And OMG you guys, they make chocolate covered potato chips. Brb, going to the store to get some.

March 15thFarms. They made this country what it is. Across this country, hard working men and women get up before the sun to feed their livestock and water their crops. You can’t eat without a farmer first. National Agriculture Day is a day that’s here to celebrate the infrastructure that feeds our country.

Tea for Two Tuesday is a holiday that was thought up by the folks over at Holiday Insights when they realized that there was no holiday that was about tea. Sweet tea, English Breakfast tea, green tea, all these teas are celebrated on this day. Just make sure you drink your tea with someone else, and you’ll be in the spirit of Tea for Two Tuesday. And so you’re prepared next year, the date for this floats but it’s always the third Tuesday in March. Why not get a gift basket delivered as a reminder that you are going to celebrate this wonderful day?

March 19th – My husband loves chicken. No, I didn’t say he loves chickens. He loves chicken. Fried chicken. Baked chicken. Chicken casserole. Chicken tacos. He doesn’t care. As long as it’s got chicken in it, he’ll eat all of it. March 19th is National Poultry day. This one isn’t a “real” national day either, but don’t you think the chickens, turkeys, and ducks who produce such delicious tastes deserve a day of recognition also? Without them, there’d be no Zaxby’s, Bojangles’, or KFC. Which came first anyway? The chicken or the egg? Ok, think about it. In order for there to be a first chicken, there had to be two things that weren’t quite chickens that bred and thus created the first little chicken embryo inside its egg. Obviously this happened multiple times, and those new chickens then interbred with each other and gave us the modern chicken. Thanks, prehistoric not-quite-chickens!

March 23rd – So, who is Melba anyway? Helen Porter Mitchell, a.k.a. Dame Nellie Melba, was an Australian opera singer in the Victorian Era. Melba is short for Melbourne, Ms. Mitchell’s Australian hometown. So famous was she that when she came down with an ailment, and could eat only bland foods, a French chef created Melba Toast for her to eat. You guessed right folks, March 23rd is Melba Toast Day. This thinly sliced crispy toast is rather like a cracker, and can be spread with pretty much anything you want. Why not go all-Australian and spread some Vegemite on it?

          Girl says: “I’m the dip.”
          Blank expressions from girl’s boyfriend and friends.
          Her boyfriend says: “Uh, you gotta admire the purity of it.”
          Girl says: “What? Onion dip. Stirring, not cooking. It’s what I bring.”

Bonus point if you can tell me who said that and which episode of what it’s from. But anyway. National Chips and Dip Day is also March 23rd. Again, not a “real” holiday, but so what? This day isn’t limited to potato chips. You could have tortilla chips and mango salsa or pita chips (okay sue me that isn’t a link for pita chips, but come on! Isn’t that the cutest toy you ever saw?) and hummus. I’m certain you can’t go wrong with this holiday. Unless you eat paint chips. Don’t eat paint chips.

March 24th – Here’s one for all you fruit lovers. What’s small, brown, covered in chocolate and sold for exorbitant prices at the movies? If you guessed raisins, you’re good at this! More specifically, March 24th is Chocolate Covered Raisin Day. I prefer to smuggle my own gourmet ones into the movies rather than paying five dollars a box for the mass-produced kind. The trouble is that they always melt in my pockets…

March 25th – My grandmother is a southerner. Born and raised. From Texas. You’d think that she’d go with the traditional southern pronunciation of pecan. But no. Have you seen that meme on the internet about what’s a pee can and what isn’t? My grandmother would wholeheartedly agree that the porto-johns in the photo are the pee-cans and the tree nuts are pecans. Puh-Khan. National Pecan Day is another holiday that isn’t really a holiday. I think it’s okay though because March 25th is also International Waffle Day! Waffles and pecan syrup anyone? I’m pretty sure that’s the greatest idea the internet ever had.

March 26th – Maybe you don’t like green leafy vegetables. Then March 26th is the perfect day for you! It’s National Spinach Day! Why do I say it’s the perfect day if you dislike green foods? Because you can try them today, join the masses in their celebration, and then say definitively that you don’t like them. Try some spinach in a salad with balsamic dressing or get yourself some spinach ravioli? Or what about a spinach artichoke dip? If you had that dip on March 23rd as part of National Chips and Dip day, use the excuse of it being National Spinach day to eat the rest of those leftovers!

March 28th – We’re almost to the end of the month. What more can we come up with? The folks over at Holiday Insights inform me that March 28th is Something on a Stick Day! Fantastic! You can eat ANYTHING this day, as long as you spear it with a stick first! Toothpicks are sticks in their own right, so if you attended a party where there was finger food, or had a free sample at the grocery store in the produce section, you celebrated this day with the best of them! You could also put marshmallows on sticks and make s’mores, or have a corndog. I bet that even something you eat with chopsticks would count, so if you have a hankering for Chinese food on March 28th, you should definitely go for it!

March 31st – The final day of March goes out with a bang. Or I guess maybe it’s a crack. March 31st is National Clam on the Half Shell Day! Personally, I think that’s a bit specific and so I encourage you all to eat as much clam chowder as you want, whether that’s Manhattan Style or New England Style. Don’t forget your oyster crackers to go with it.
Whoa! That was a lot of days of food in March! Guys, I think I’m full.

Posted: Friday, April 01, 2016